The more we let go of the past, the more it hangs onto us.
Sir Thomas Wyatt (1503-1542)
They flee from me that sometime did me seek out
This quote is interesting as it is disputed.
But I do believe that RL Stevenson adapted it as
They flee from me who once did seek me out.
In any case its a stunning stanza
This is a world of shadows, real life hasn’t begun yet.
The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost
I received at letter today dated 19/02/14 from Derbyshire Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust. It was from the Assistant Director of Corporate and legal affairs. This person wrote,
“It has been brought to the attention of the Trust of the existence of blogs emanating from your website which include derogatory comments regarding the Eating Disorder Services provided by the trust which operate in the Belper area. I am writing to ask you to remove these derogatory comments from the blogs on your website as it is not in the interest of potential vulnerable people who may require our services in the future. I look forward to receiving confirmation from you that these remarks have been removed with immediate effect”
Now this is astonishing. For a start my website does not host any blogs. I have asked this person to move from generalities to specifics. I have asked them to tell me exactly what they want removed. This blog is the only blog I have that comments on healthcare issues. I have looked through my posts and this is the only reference to Derbyshire Eating Disorder Service in the entire blog.
Except from the post dated 13/01/13.
I completely beat my eating disorder. I now want to help other sufferers to beat their eating disorder.
“I know from personal experience that effective NHS provision for the treatment and support of eating disorders is virtually non-existent and I would really like to help the eating disorders community. Here in Derbyshire the NHS Eating Disorder service will not see anyone with a BMI higher than 15 and its the same in many other areas. This is appalling and excludes so many sufferers. In many ways it is encouraging people to lose weight just so they can get help. I expect that the NHS does this simply to save money and for no other reason. There are certainly not any tangible clinical reasons for doing this.”
Now i totally stand by my comments here that were made on 13/1/13. If there have been changes to any one the admission policies with the Eating Disorder Service in Belper and minimum BMI requirements then I have not heard of this. I have asked for clarification on this but I have not had a reply as yet. If there have been changes then I will obviously acknowledge this. I am pleased that the NHS in Derbyshire has finally woken up to the fact that there is a lack of any specialist counselling provision for the sufferers of eating disorders in the entire county(or have they?) Let us bear in mind that some GP’s will refer patients for a maximum six sessions of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy(CBT) I can say that CBT is totally ineffective for the treatment of eating disorders. By treatment, I don’t mean getting people to eat more or gain weight, that is palliative. Treatment means tackling the eating disorder itself and not its side effects. Gaining weight is not a sign of recovery. CBT may help patients to gain weight but will it cure the eating disorder. In many ways it only makes the eating disorder stronger. The only way to get specialist help here is to pay for it. Therefore I have asked the NHS here to provide funding for patients so that they can access my counselling services. I would love to see everyone free of charge, but I can’t. If the NHS provides funding then I can see as many sufferers as they send me. I am already getting very ill people better. Let us see what their real motives are. Is it treatment or controlling the flow of information.
I will once and for all spell it out. When I went to the Derbyshire Eating Disorder Service in Belper, their office was totally anonymous. They didn’t even have a doorbell or sign to say where they were. I was told that people with a BMI below 16 are not receptive to counselling. That is nonsense. If this is so where is the evidence? I have the evidence in my own clients. I can assure you if you are below BMI 16 then you will be receptive to psychological interventions unless there are any other precipitating factors that preclude. See, how easy it is to write goobledygook. Anyone can do it.
The manager told me in 2013 that they did not treat anyone with a BMI over 15. She told me that they did not provide any counselling whatsoever to people with eating disorders. She Told me that if people are over BMI 15 then they get sent to an NHS funded charity in Derby called First Steps Derbyshire. This charity also does not provide any counselling. I met their manager and whilst he was polite, he actually told me that they did not intend to provide any formal counselling. This is their right. But what do sufferers do in Derbyshire when they need counselling? They have no choice but to pay. If they don’t pay they don’t get. It is that simple.
I have told the NHS that if they can show that any of my comments are untrue then I will add a footnote that tells readers that it was true at the time of writing. I will also tell readers when the rules were changed, and it what way they were changed. I can’t say fairer than that. But I will not be censored. The NHS is a publicly funded body and they are accountable to the people who keep them going(in theory!) If they are so concerned for their patients then let them help them instead of trying to silence and censor someone who is only trying to help.
Ultimately we live in democracy and the NHS can not silence someone because they don’t like what they say. If it us untrue then they can. If it is the truth then it is censorship.
The NHS complains continually that there is a funding shortage, but they seem to have unlimited resources committed to public relations and providing work for non clinical workers. The money spent on issuing threatening letters to me and paying legal teams would pay for a quite a few patients with an eating disorder to see me and receive counselling Let us see how much NHS Derbyshire really care about patient care. Let us see if they want me to help the eating disorder community in the County. They clearly read this blog, so let them read this and respond. Will they respond with more threats or will they ask for my help in giving the sufferers of eating disorders in the county a chance to recover.
Originally posted on Getting a Life without Anorexia. Poetry and observations from a survivor:
‘Twas at this place
Not too long ago
But not so long ago
That I can forget
When we cemented our future
And made love ersatz
Of the bewildered
As they intermittently
Passed us by
‘Twas on that night
That my love and I
Swore our allegiance as we exchanged bands of gold.
And frolicked until the
Dark and cold
called us home
With the feeling of
And permanence in our hearts
I was sure that this was our time
‘Twas on this afternoon
When I came back to this place
And found nothing and no-one
But the tears of loss
Welling up in my dimmed and dying eyes
With dreams no more
And my future
In the not too distant, but well remembered past.
M. Bloodworth. 2014
The large expanse of life we call the past
Is like a pervasive dense fog
You cannot see behind
You cannot see in front
You cannot see from side to side.
This is the way for many of us
But for some
The fog lifts
But it lifts
And in doing so
We can see behind
We can make out what is by our side
And we can finally look ahead